Life

I heavily contemplated writing about this, but having a place to go and just air my feelings seems to help, so here I am.

Someone I know died yesterday.

And although I did not know her extremely well, I did know her and we had several conversations. Her 15 year old daughter is in my Young Women's class at church. I felt blindsided when I heard the news.

She was fairly young (late 40's) and it was completely unexpected. She was alone when it happened. She had been getting ready for work. Her curling iron was on; a bowl of cereal was out. Alive one minute and gone the next.

I almost feel weird being so shaken up about it--like because I wasn't a close friend, I shouldn't feel so upset.

But I am.

I have been thinking a lot about my own life this past 24 hours, and how precious and fragile it is. Am I fully taking advantage of this life I have to live? Do those around me truly know how much I love and care about them? What can I do NOW to make sure that they do know? Am I making the best possible use of my time? Lots of things popping in and out of my head.

This is difficult for the girls to handle, too. They know the daughter well because she's been at our house many times. They know the mom, and they are at an age where these things become real. It has been a long time since anyone we know has passed away--this is the first real experience with death that they are having.

They have lots of questions. I am so grateful that I have answers for them.

I know that she is still living, just in her spirit form now. I know that she will get to be with her children again someday. I can tell them that, yes, one day her spirit will come back together with her body. For now, I explain to them that she is with her other family members who have passed away, including her mother who passed away not even a year ago. This seems to help them deal with this, and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have through the gospel.

I know that this will be a long process for their family. It would be for any one's, but I think that the sudden unexpectedness of it will make it harder in some ways. I am praying for all of them, but especially for the one who I consider one of "my girls." I pray that she will have the strength to get through this and that she will cling to the gospel to help her. The teenage years are rough in the best of circumstances, and this will be very difficult. I pray that I can be of help in any way.

I guess what I am realizing most now is what truly matters in life. So many things that I get upset or worried about just don't matter that much when it comes down to it. What does matter is my family. And because of this tragedy, I look at them differently. I never want to leave them with an unkind work or look. I want to be more patient and understanding. I want to spend more time with them. Once time is gone, you can't get it back.

Enough writing...I need to go play with my girls now.